Renee spent 40 years on the Diet Yo-Yo until she figured out what worked for her -- and she's maintained her weight for over 9 years. Now she helps others figure out What's Really Eating You?
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We discuss:
What is emotional eating, and how do we create it – and how do we manage it?
Why do we overeat? Why do we have so much trouble managing our weight?
You talk about the epidemic of low-self worth. How does that relate to emotional eating?
Why do diets fail? Number one reason they fail?
What’s the real secret for losing weight and maintaining the loss?
If you don’t live alone, there may be food in your house that tempts you. How do you navigate a “snack-filled” home?
When you have an overwhelming craving, how do you handle that and be faithful to your goals?
What is the best nutrition plan?
What drives a person to food for comfort or stress relief?
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.
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AUDIO TRANSCRIPTION
(00:01):
In today's episode, we are talking with Renee who has spent 40 years on the diet yoyo until she figured out what really worked for her. She has maintained her weight for over nine years and she now helps others figure out what's really eating you guys. I know I've said this several times. I absolutely loved this podcast interview. I feel like I had several aha moments and even took away some nice little tidbits for myself when it comes to eating and emotional eating. So I hope you guys enjoy this episode as much as I have
(00:41):
Welcome back to the thriving thyroid podcast, where we choose to become empowered patients and take our health into our own hands. Hi, I'm Shannon Hanson, a Christian entrepreneur, a mom of three. And after dealing with my own health mysteries, I made it my mission to learn everything I could about the thyroid. I soon became certified as a holistic wellness practitioner, a functional nutrition practitioner and a functional diagnostic practitioner. And so much more. After that, I founded the revolutionary thyroid program, the Hanen method as a health professional and a mom. I fully understand the importance of having a fun, simple, and sustainable plan for achieving a responsive thyroid. So I share actionable and practical strategies for developing a responsive thyroid so that the ambitious moms and women can gain freedom from fatigue and lose the thyroid weight once. And for all each week, I will be here for you. Along with my guest experts, we will be sharing simple and tangible tips that work for not only your thyroid, your hormones, your family, and your mindset, so that you can get back to living the life that you envision for yourself. Welcome to the thriving thyroid podcast.
(02:03):
Renee spent 40 years on the yo-yo diet until she figured out what works for her. And she has maintained her weight for over nine years. Now. She helps others figure out what is really eating new. All right. Welcome back to the thriving thyroid podcast. You guys, I am really excited to have Renee Jones here with me on the call or the episode we are gonna be talking about. Yo-Yo dieting about emotional eating and all of those different things. So welcome Renee.
(02:36):
Thank you for having me.
(02:37):
Yeah. So let's get started with giving people a little bit of background as to who you are and how you got into this space of coaching and mentorship with people struggling with dieting.
(02:52):
Well, I got my degree in my master's degree in marriage and family counseling. And then I, I opened a practice many years later doing mostly marriage and individual counseling, all of that. And then once I lost my weight after 40 years, and I'm not kidding, it was 40 years on the diet yoyo. And I finally lost my weight, realized, okay, it's emotional eating for me. So I addressed that. And then I thought this is such a huge issue that I shifted my practice to focus more on helping others overcome emotional eating.
(03:31):
That's amazing. So wi let's kind of define emotional eating because I think that that is that people have all different kinds of ideas about what that is. So what is your definition of emotional eating?
(03:47):
My definition is eating for any reason, other than hunger. You're either eating because you're sad, mad, bored, frustrated, and you need something to soothe yourself. Or, you know, there are positive ways Fe days, holidays. Those are all emotional as well because we're eating foods because this is the only time of year we have them. So I've gotta get all I can. Mm. And then, you know, the, the seasons change you know, we talk about comfort foods in the winter because they're all warm and inviting and we love them. Yeah. So emotional eating, it doesn't have to be bad. It can be just part of being belonging to a group, but it's when you eat because not when you're hungry.
(04:37):
Interesting. Okay. Yeah. I, when you are saying some of that, I eat for avoidance
(04:44):
<Laugh> mm-hmm, <affirmative>,
(04:45):
Mm-Hmm, <affirmative> when I'm like, I want to avoid that situation or that hard thing. Then I find myself sneaking into the pantry <laugh> for something, right? Yes. Something salty, something sweet. Yes. Even though I may have just eaten a full meal. And so that would be, I guess, and, and I can, I remember for me, this is gonna be my counseling session. <Laugh>
(05:11):
<Laugh>
(05:13):
I did not start, I would say emotionally eating until after I had kids. I, I was a very healthy weight. I like all growing up. I ate when I was hungry and I stopped when I was full and it wasn't until having kids. And then just having this overwhelm of, oh my gosh, I have to take care of this thing a hundred percent of the time.
(05:36):
Yeah.
(05:37):
You know? Yeah. For whatever reason it became my escape.
(05:43):
Yeah.
(05:44):
In
(05:44):
A way, because you can
(05:46):
Yeah.
(05:47):
And it's recognized as a, a positive thing. Yes. You've got to keep your strength up to take care of those babies
(05:56):
And, and you're nursing and you need fuel and right. All, yeah, absolutely. So how, I guess, for every, for the women that you work with, how did they start creating emotional eating in their life? Is it something that people are born with develop, start? You know, when, when do you see a lot of that developing for people?
(06:22):
Well, actually, I mean, it's, it's an oral soothing, and I don't know about your sonograms, but there are times when you see a baby in utero sucking its thumb. So it is a soothing behavior. That's very natural and normal. And as we get older, it's not necessarily good. Good for us. I mean, when a baby cries, we put something in their mouths, whether it's the bottle or the breast or a pacifier. Right. Yep. And as children get older, you take that pacifier away from them. Well, they still have this need for oral soothing. So they'll go to their thumb or they'll go to biting their nails. And then there comes a point in time when those two things are not acceptable anymore. So they go to a donut or pizza. So it's a very natural progression. Oral soothing works.
(07:23):
Yeah.
(07:23):
It's just that it creates a whole bunch of extra calories. So we, we have this very natural response to stress or other kinds of discomfort. And until we recognized, that's what it is. That's what we're doing. We can't get rid of it because it's just like, oh, this is how I soothed myself. What else am I gonna do?
(07:47):
Yeah. That's kind of interesting, especially for me, sorry, my husband, I didn't realize left his watch at home. <Laugh> so his watch is ringing here in the office. But for me, growing up, I remember chewing on, they were like these little plastic rubbery things. When, and I remember this was like, during the time my parents were going through a divorce and all of those different things and I am, I love chewing gum.
(08:19):
Yeah.
(08:20):
And I, I use gum a lot. <Laugh>
(08:24):
Yeah. It's again, that oral soothing you're chewing. You're doing something.
(08:29):
Yeah.
(08:30):
Yep. You know, some kids go to pencils or pens or straws.
(08:35):
Oh, my sister. That was totally my sister <laugh>. I think it still is my sister in all honesty. She's always, you know, on the end of her pencil or pen or, yeah. That's so interesting. I, I don't think I ever made that connection before. Mm-Hmm <affirmative> so how, how do we break that cycle?
(08:59):
We have to be aware
(09:00):
Of it. My Skipp steps <laugh>
(09:01):
No, no, no, no, no, no. I mean, that's, that's the next logical question. So when I was losing my weight, I actually taped this to my refrigerator. Can you see what that is?
(09:12):
The pacifier. Yeah. Yeah.
(09:14):
I taped it to my refrigerator just at my height to remind me, this is what you want. You want soothing, not food. So how do we sooth or more importantly, how do we heal that hole in your heart that you're trying to cover over with a food bandaid date? So recognition is a huge part of it. Mm-Hmm
(09:40):
<Affirmative>
(09:41):
Recognizing, I'm just trying to get my needs met with a twinky or whatever the food may be. And it's not that, I mean, we still need the soothing.
(09:54):
Yes. Yeah.
(09:56):
Food is easy. It's available. It's everywhere, but it's not the only soother. And if we can find another soother that works for us, then we can be free.
(10:10):
That was exactly what I was gonna ask. How do we find different soothing methods or mechanisms that maybe aren't related to food and I, for whatever reason, I'm feeling kind of emotional. I feel like this, this conversation is exactly what I need right now. <Laugh>
(10:29):
Yeah. And it's okay. Shannon. I mean, emotion is telling you something.
(10:34):
Yeah.
(10:35):
It's okay. Let it be because if you try to push the emotion away, it goes underground. Doesn't it?
(10:44):
Absolutely. Absolutely. That was one thing that I have really been working on with things like acupuncture and stuff. Mm-Hmm <affirmative> so there's been times where I'm doing acupuncture and I feel just so angry and I'm like, I don't know where this anger is coming from. Yeah. But it's there. And I have learned over time that it's important for me to feel the emotion. Yeah. I don't know why this is like dry. Like this conversation is just drying up emotion, which is probably really good. And hopefully helping the listeners too. <Laugh>
(11:20):
So here's what I we'll get back to the other suitors. Yes. But here's what I know about emotion or even thoughts they will pass through in about 90 seconds. If we let them it's when we grab onto them that they create problems, thoughts and emotions are kind of like a river. So you can go down to a river, you can sit on the bank, you can put your toes in it. You can swim in it. And the river continues to flow. The emotion continues to flow. But when we trap it over on the side, put rocks around it all sorts of dams around it, the water becomes gross future. Yeah. Yeah. It loses its oxygen. Nothing can live in that, but if we take the dam down so that the water goes back with the rest of the river, it Reox oxygenates. It gets life again. So as your emotions are flowing by as long as you don't grab onto 'em and just focus and just think about it and ruminate and, oh my gosh, I can't imagine having these feelings and that's what's going on and that's upset me because I have these feelings that are just passing by. As long as you don't do that, it will continue to flow. And I wanna ask you, how do you feel now?
(12:47):
I feel better.
(12:49):
See, yeah. I mean, you have permission to feel whatever you feel. That's fine. Yes. But time passed. We went somewhere else, still talking about it, but on a different picture in your mind and it passed on by it kept flowing.
(13:06):
Yeah. Oh, this is so good.
(13:11):
Yeah. I love these conversations. They always make me so happy to realize, especially with other practitioners, cuz this is something that I've been practicing is learning how to feel and deal with my emotions. Mm-Hmm <affirmative> and, and also communicate how I'm feeling. Mm-Hmm <affirmative> you know, saying, Hey, I need a little bit of time. <Laugh> you know, I need to go put myself in time out or I need to whatever for my own needs. Mm-Hmm <affirmative>. And I remember my, my sweet little baby. I was pregnant with her not too long ago. And I, for whatever reason that day it was like bringing all of these things to surface. I was super emotional. I was super overwhelmed. And by the end of the day, I just told my husband, I was like, I have to leave. I have to get outta the house. And I had to remove myself from my environment and I went on a drive. Thank goodness gas prices were not what they are now. <Laugh>
(14:10):
Yes.
(14:11):
But I drove around for an hour and a half, almost two hours. And I allowed myself to feel the emotion mm-hmm <affirmative> and the emotions that I was feeling mm-hmm <affirmative> and then I was able to process through them mm-hmm <affirmative> and come back feeling much different and much better and not stirring in, in the emotion. Yeah. And I think that that is really hard for a lot of women to do.
(14:42):
Yes. It's always hard for women to look after themselves.
(14:46):
Yes. Why, why do you think that is? Why do you think that women struggle with caring for themselves?
(14:55):
Well, I would say it's a generational thing, but since my mother, grandmother, great grandmother and her mother before her also struggled with it, I think it's just that we were not taught how to, we were taught to take care of others. Mm. You the mom, your baby girl's life depends on you.
(15:15):
Yeah.
(15:16):
Yeah. So you don't have time to stop. And because this child could actually die without my help. So I have to be there now. Thankfully you, you have a partner who's participating and wonderful and could give you the space. Yes. But for a lot of women, that's not an option. Or even if it is, their minds are somewhere else, unless they are very child centric. Right. So, and that, that is changing a lot. In the last 30 years, there are more men who are focused on helping, but for so many generations, it was always the woman's job. You look after the children, that's your job. So we, we just never really got out of that idea of, I can look after myself.
(16:15):
Yeah.
(16:16):
Apart from, I have to look after myself because my child's life depends on it. But taking an hour to go for a drive on your own or to do anything else, you know, the, the standard things people talk about in terms of other suitors are things like, go for a walk, call a friend, listen to music. Yes. Get a manicure. They all take a lot of time.
(16:40):
Take a bubble bath. Yes. <laugh>
(16:42):
They take time and food. Doesn't really, it only takes a minute if that
(16:52):
Yeah.
(16:54):
But you arranged to go for a drive, you coordinated it so that you could do that. Yeah. That was a soother for you to give you space. And there are others, but it's very specific to you and you've gotta think, and this was made very clear to me. My grandmother and I were tight, tight, tight. Right. And she passed away. She was 93. She was deteriorating in health. But the moment it happened was a bit of a shock.
(17:37):
Mm.
(17:38):
And the funeral was a couple of days later and my husband and I were scheduled to go off on a vacation the following day.
(17:45):
Wow.
(17:46):
So I get home from the funeral, Marie, go on vacation and I am a mess. Now I've worked in hospitals for 20 years. I watch people die all the time. It's not traumatic to me in that way, but this one was different. Yeah. Cause this was my Nan and, and I had lost my rock. So I'm walking around for the first two or three days, just in a daze. I was like, just leave me where you want me to go. I don't care. Just take me <laugh>. And on about day three, we were wandering around the, the hotel and we found a room that had like books and puzzles and games that you could borrow for the time you were there. And he was looking for a book and I was just kind of standing in the middle of the room, staring <laugh> and I saw the puzzles and I took a puzzle back to our room and you know, puzzles have rules. If you've got all the pieces, they all fit. You will have a picture when you're done.
(18:58):
Yep.
(19:00):
And I did that puzzle for about three days and I told my husband, I said, whenever you wanna go somewhere, just let me know and I'll stop. But you know, I can't chop doing puzzles. That's
(19:09):
Just <laugh>.
(19:10):
So that's a, that is a, a significant soor for me. And everyone has to find the soor. That is theirs.
(19:22):
Okay. So this and I, I totally agree with finding a soor. And as you were talking about that, I was thinking about things that I like those diamond paintings. I don't, they're kind of like puzzles, like those diamond paintings I've really been loving or coloring. I love to color my kids. I have older kids, well, eight hold on 11, eight and six. And then I have the baby and they wanna color. I'm like, Hey, let's color. Hey, I will buy you all of the markers and all of the coloring things, cuz I love to sit down and color with them. <Laugh> I know it's kinda funny.
(19:58):
It's not it's you,
(20:00):
It it's totally me, but it's funny in the sense of sometimes, and I, I guess I wanna get your opinion on this TV. Do you find that as a soor I'm trying to figure out the, the, the right way to ask this question. Is that a soor or is that like a numbing
(20:22):
It's checking out.
(20:23):
Yeah. Okay.
(20:25):
And, but it, I guess it depends on what you watch, because if you're into the story of it, then it can be a soother because you're in someone else's story for half an hour or an hour and you're entertained visually and audibly. So I think it, it can be, but if you're just scrolling through and watching, whatever's there for just to check out mm-hmm
(20:56):
<Affirmative>,
(20:58):
It'll still soothe you. It just doesn't give you anything back really.
(21:03):
Okay.
(21:05):
And that's the thing, a soother, a true soor gives you something, whether it's order pleasure, connection, it gives you something that you're needing in that moment.
(21:24):
Okay. Yeah. No, that totally makes sense. And I'm thinking of all of the suitors in my life. I probably need to make a list and put them, you know, somewhere for me so that at different times I can, I can, okay, what do I need? All right. This is gonna fulfill that need instead of embarrassingly. <Laugh> the numbing behavior where I'm like at nighttime, like I just wanna check out. I'm like, okay, it is eight, o'clock nine o'clock you guys aren't in bed. I am not gonna fight you anymore. I'm done. Mom's dead
(22:03):
Yourself. Well, that's a self preservation thing, isn't it?
(22:06):
Probably. But that's when I'm like, I'm watching TV, like I'm done. My day is done. You guys put yourself to sleep. You know, I did all of the things for you all day to day and you know, so my husband and I joke about that is my numbing or my like checking out, I turn on the TV and
(22:30):
Yeah, you checked out because you're done.
(22:32):
Yeah.
(22:33):
And if you were able to recharge a little bit, sometime during the day, you might not need the checkout quite so much.
(22:42):
That is probably very true because with C a lot changed for us in terms of like, my kids are now they go to school for 16 hours a day and I have older kids here that I am helping to school at dirt certain times. So I'm like, oh, I literally have no time to myself. You know, like, yeah. If I have to go to the bathroom, I'm like, Hey, somebody hold the baby. You know? So you're probably very right. If I had other times during the day to kind of
(23:20):
Re redo recharge
(23:22):
Recharge, I probably wouldn't meet that as much so
(23:26):
Well, and I mean, I think it needs to be said if it hasn't been said yet, COVID was a global trauma.
(23:36):
Yes.
(23:36):
I agree. And we, we haven't yet seen the, the out fall out from that because there are a lot of mothers and fathers just like you who have been trying to do it and take care of other things.
(23:52):
Yeah.
(23:53):
Everybody needs time to recharge. Yes, everybody. Yep. Because otherwise you burn out
(24:02):
<Laugh> I, I think that's a lot of what ends up happening with women with thyroid issues is they do get burnt out.
(24:10):
Mm-Hmm <affirmative>,
(24:11):
Mm-Hmm <affirmative>, you know, they're the, the, go-getters the doers, all of the different things. And they end up burning themselves out and on this topic using food to soothe different things, whether they're eating or they're not eating, right.
(24:27):
Yes, yes. It's a control issue. It's something I can control and that can be good. Or that can be not so good.
(24:36):
Yes. So why, why do we overeat and why do we have so much trouble maintaining a healthy weight?
(24:47):
Well, I think we overeat because our plates got bigger.
(24:52):
Mm.
(24:53):
So when I was 27, I had decided that I was probably never gonna be, get married. I couldn't get a date. I was just bereft of men. And I said, okay, if I'm gonna be single for the rest of my life, I really want China. I want the shower kind of thing. Yeah. So for my birthday and Christmas, I told my family, this is the China I've chosen. You can give me a place setting. It's not expensive. So they started giving me a place. So fast forward a couple of years, there's a man on the, the scene, Mr. Jones comes around <laugh> and when we were actually getting married, I said, I've already got this much, China, we're gonna go with it. He said, that's fine. I said, you can pick the nice stuff. So he did. And I started getting place settings for the other one, cuz I hadn't didn't have a full set yet.
(25:51):
Okay.
(25:53):
And the place setting had a plate, the first ones were nine and a half inches. The second set just a couple of years later, it was 10 and a half inches.
(26:07):
Oh,
(26:08):
Oh. And we like our plate to look full.
(26:13):
Yes,
(26:14):
Absolutely. So that's an extra inch all the way around a food. That's a lot of extra. And we started going to restaurants a lot more
(26:22):
Convenience. Yeah.
(26:24):
And those portions, I mean, come on.
(26:28):
<Laugh> yeah.
(26:30):
When I was growing up, there was a, a, a, a frozen dinner called the hungry man. And it was like 30 to 50% more. Well the hungry man looks like a small portion now compared to what we get at restaurants.
(26:46):
Yeah.
(26:47):
So we got accustomed to thinking, oh, this is a portion I need more. And we took that home. And in addition to that, the whole low fat thing came out in the nineties. And what they did was they took out the fat, but they filled in with sugar, which will make food stick to your body in your fat cells faster than anything else.
(27:14):
Interesting. I, yeah, I don't think I put that timeline together. Like I know they did the low fat in the nineties, 80, I think, late,
(27:25):
Late eighties.
(27:26):
Yeah. Early nineties. And a lot of people got sucked into that. And the need for the sugar and all of those things. But especially for women, women need those fats, you know, for hormones and things like
(27:46):
And sugar is more addictive than cocaine. Yes. If you look at the brain scans of someone who's on cocaine and someone who's just had sugar, they look the same, which is scary. And it's, moreish, you know, you have a little sugar, you just want more, you have a little sugar, you just want more and more again, the more sugar you have, the more you want.
(28:12):
Yes. So do you find, oh, okay. So is sugar more, well obviously addictive in the cocaine, but then also that emotional component, how do you help someone kind of break that cycle? Because you're absolutely right where it's like, you have a little bit of hit of sugar and then you need a little bit more and you need a little bit more to satisfy the need and the desire for that. So how do you start to break that, that cycle down?
(28:46):
Well, seven years ago now, I guess I gave up sugar because I found that it makes me mean and cranky <laugh>, but I didn't do it immediately. Okay. I said, okay, I'm gonna start. I'm gonna make a rule for myself. And that rule was, I only have sugar on Sundays. Now I might use a sweetener of choice in between, but actual sugar only once on Sundays. And this went on for about six weeks. And then I was, I, I was still working in a hospital at that time and I was supposed to go call in on a Sunday afternoon and I thought, right, I'm gonna have my cup of tea and I'm gonna have my whatever bit of sugar. It was that day. And the drive is about 30 minutes. So I had the cup of tea in the sugar, and then I got in the car and went to the hospital. By the time I hit the door of the hospital, I was flying absolutely flying. I walked in and they were like, Ray, are you okay? So yeah. Yeah. I think I just figured out what sugar does. Oh, this is not good. And then I started to realize that there was a weird film on my tongue after I had sugar. And I didn't like that. It was like, that's just disgusting. So now I have sugar a couple of times a year and fact, a couple of years ago we were at Christmas dinner with my mother-in-law and father-in-law and she put down in front of me, this plate of desserts that were just for me
(30:27):
<Laugh> oh, nice.
(30:28):
<Laugh>. And I looked at it and my husband and his sister were taking off the next day on a business trip. And I looked at him, he said, go ahead. I'm not gonna be here for the fallout. So I think if we, if we understood how sugar affects our bodies and the, the contrast it could help, part of it is just recognizing that it's not good for us. And you know, for, yes, we've had it for centuries, but you, we used to eat it in a lot smaller quantities. You'd have it once a day. Not at every meal and all the sauces.
(31:09):
Yes.
(31:10):
Yeah. So I think recognition is a huge part of it. And just see, do you wanna be addicted to sugar? Is that who you wanna be?
(31:22):
I had a conversation with someone the other day and they were saying I don't wanna throw this person under the bus too much. <Laugh> but I found myself agreeing with them in the sense of,
(31:38):
They were like, but it's summertime. I wanna be able to have ice cream. I wanna be able to eat pizza with my family. I wanna be able to what, you know, whatever, whatever their routine was. Mm-Hmm <affirmative>. And I was like, I don't think you have to give those things up completely in order to accomplish your goals. Right. But we also have to match our goals with our expectation or our reality with our expectation of what we're doing. So if we're eating, like you're saying sugar with sauces and everything at every single meal, and we're expecting to lose weight,
(32:18):
It's not gonna happen.
(32:19):
It's gonna be very difficult. <Laugh> it's gonna be very challenging. <Laugh>
(32:23):
I could have lived forever having sugar only on Sundays and on holidays, I could have done that. I would've been okay with that, but I found what had happened to me and that wasn't good. So yeah. I mean, do I still have sugar at holidays, but it doesn't control me. I control it. And that's the difference.
(32:47):
Yes. So, and, and I just wanna make sure that I'm clarifying this for the listeners. Sure. You have sweeteners occasionally, right? With maybe tea, coffee or whatever, but you are saying natural sweeteners, like maybe more honey or something like that. Or like,
(33:10):
I think, I think which sweeteners you use are personal choice.
(33:15):
Okay.
(33:16):
And I'm not saying you should get off sugar completely. I'm saying pay attention, see what you're doing. Are you actually functioning as a kind of addict when it comes to sugar, cuz that carries a whole bunch of calories and does all kinds of things to our blood sugar and everything else. So just be mindful of it. Make your choice about what you use. You may not choose the same thing as I do. And that's okay.
(33:45):
I, I, yeah. Being intentional with what you're using, I think that's what I'm I'm hearing. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Being intentional. I don't wanna say setting rules. I feel like <laugh> at least my personality. If you give me rules, I'm gonna break them.
(34:05):
<Laugh> yes. And you need to know that as well. See, we have to know what works for us. I mean, when, when a client comes to me, I do not give them a diet because they already have plenty. Yeah. Now I've now give them a metabolic test so they can at least have the information. So they will know what works for their body. But if they don't choose to follow it, that's okay. There are other ways around it. So with rules, if rules kick you into to rebel land, they're not helpful.
(34:42):
<Laugh> that's me. <Laugh>
(34:44):
Right. So everybody is different. This is the thing. Your body is different. Your heart is different. Your mindset and your feelings are different. So find what works for you. And that will work for everyone. You doing you is the most important thing.
(35:02):
Yeah. Yeah. I, I, I really appreciate that in the sense of finding what works for you and also not having diets because I, if you tell me, Hey, your body responds best to X, Y, Z foods. I'm gonna be like, sure. If I, you know, yes, I'm going to eat whatever, right. Let's say I do better on red meat than, than fish. Then I'm going to eat more red meat because I know that that's works best for me. But as soon as you give me that, like do not eat list. I'm like, oh, what's over there. That, that sounds really good. You know,
(35:47):
Now see that's my psych nerd is coming up now and I'd love to dig into that, but we don't.
(35:55):
Oh, yes, yes. Okay. So let's kind of begin to wrap this up. When we're dealing with emotional break emotional eating and breaking some of these cycles, what are maybe some tips or tricks or like how would somebody get started once they recognize that this is a pattern,
(36:21):
Make your choices about what's most important to you find what works for your body, recognize what's driving you to food and sort that out. Because if we don't sort that out, no diet in the world is gonna work. If that kicks you into rebel land or into emotional funk, that's, what's driving the extra eating behavior. So let's fix that. Right. Mm-hmm <affirmative> and then recognize and reconnect with your best self. Because when you're acting out of your best self, you just make better choices. Yeah. So see what, see what's going on in your household and how you can manage it. So my husband is quite a lot taller than I am, cuz I'm a, I'm a little woman. So any snacks, any foods that are perfect for me are gonna be at my eye level. If they're his, they need to be up. And if they can be in a Nopa container, that's even better.
(37:31):
Right. His mom sent home with him, this large container of salted roasted nuts. Mm-Hmm <affirmative> I can't be in the room with those without supervision because they just are moreish. And I know this about myself. So I said, ah, they're not staying in the kitchen, take 'em to your office. So he did. But then when he was going away for a business trip, he brought them back and put them in the pantry. So I put 'em in a soft drawer cuz I knew I wouldn't be going in there. <Laugh> right. Sometimes we have to know what works for us. Maybe put your stuff in a separate cupboard so that you're not going to somebody else's cupboard for snacks. Right? Yeah. And then it helps if you decide that the kitchen is closed after dinner, that we don't eat in front of the TV or in a moving vehicle.
(38:27):
I need help with that one. I'm eating on the go. I, oh, I gotta go pick up my kids. It's one o'clock okay. You know
(38:33):
<Laugh> and how mindful of you, are you about your food when you're doing that?
(38:38):
Not as mindful I have, because I know the situation that we're in and I'm like, there's not a lot I can do about it. I know it's gonna be changing here. Mm-Hmm <affirmative> I just make sure that I am grabbing foods that are more nutrient dense. So instead of let's say grabbing like a bar or something fast and easy, I'm trying to grab a piece of fruit or you know, something that is, or like some veggies and I've been very intentional about packaging them up so I can grab and go
(39:12):
Excellent
(39:13):
For the fiber intake for the nutrients. Just because for me that's a better option than a bar. Even if it is, you know, a LA bar that is, you know, natural better. Yeah. Better. <Laugh> it's still, I still find myself craving the suites afterwards. So,
(39:32):
So you want a craving Buster?
(39:33):
Sure. Yes.
(39:35):
Okay. If there's a food that is calling your name and you cannot say no to it, you've just got to have it. Okay. Have it. But this is the caveat I want you to set your table place. Mat tablecloth, whatever knife, fork, spoon, pretty glass, maybe even a candle, put the food on the plate or in a bowl and sit down at your table and enjoy every bite, no eating over the trash can or sink because that says I'm hiding
(40:16):
Or in the pantry
(40:17):
Or in the pantry. Whereas, which is where my trash can is. So oh, okay. But give that food the same honor that you are giving the craving, you will enjoy it. It will be a lot more satisfying and you won't need another one. Cuz here's what happens. Often my grandmother made wonderful pies and we would sit down. Everybody would have their piece and we would swallow at hold because it was so good. <Laugh> and then think, oh gosh, I need another one. I didn't enjoy that one. So if you actually pay attention and enjoy every bite squeeze, every bit of flavor out of it, you don't need more because you've enjoyed the first.
(41:08):
I, I, that is so good. And I'm gonna have to use that because for me, a lot of times food is connection to other people, right. And so when I'm eating something or I'm choosing to eat something it for, and a lot of times I don't notice it in the moment mm-hmm <affirmative> that it is connecting me to like dates. I grew up with my dad and my, my parents did not do a lot of refined sugar in our home. Sweet things were like dates or every once in a while we would have ice cream or you know, things like that. And I <laugh>, so I will eat dates or I'll pick them up at the store because it's bringing me back to that childhood memory
(41:56):
And your dad isn't in the dates.
(41:59):
No. And, and my dad did pass away and that's when I actually started buying them. It was after he passed away. And it wasn't until later that I realized that connection for me, why I love dates. <Laugh> so much. So. Yeah.
(42:15):
So how do you get that feeling of connection with your dad otherwise, otherwise
(42:27):
I, I don't, I mean, his he's not buried anywhere close to where I'm at. And so usually it's through food.
(42:36):
Yeah. So I did that with peanut butter and my grandmother.
(42:40):
Okay.
(42:41):
And I, when I'm was circling the refrigerator going for yet another spoon of peanut butter, I knew that I was in need of what my grandmother always gave me, which was love and encouragement, unbounded. That's what I needed, not the peanut butter.
(43:03):
Right.
(43:04):
So you don't need the dates. You need a bit of what your father gave you in that moment. And when you identify that you can go get that instead
(43:19):
Time. I already know what it is. It was
(43:22):
<Laugh> no, but you don't have a lot of it now, do you?
(43:26):
I, I don't have a lot of it now.
(43:28):
Now, when do you want the date? <Laugh>
(43:31):
Time. Attention, you know, I guess love too would probably be categorized in there. Both my dad and I love language is quality time.
(43:43):
It do.
(43:44):
And so sometimes there just feels like there is not enough hours in the day to do all of the things that I need to do. And I've really, that is the big mindset thing that I'm working on right now is telling myself I have more than enough time. I have more than enough time <laugh> yeah. You know, because we make time for things that are a priority for us and that are important. So,
(44:09):
And are you making time for you?
(44:12):
I am doing much better than I have in the past. Okay. <Laugh> I mean, having a new baby is
(44:19):
It does to face things it's different,
(44:21):
You know, having she's four months. And so I'm like, and, and thankfully having older kids, I understand now that it's a phase. Yeah. And that it's gonna happen much faster, but I will say when I had my, you know, I had three kids five and under, I just felt like,
(44:41):
Yes, boys bless you
(44:42):
Driving. Like I was drowning, you know, mm-hmm <affirmative> mm-hmm <affirmative> and they were such a blessing. And I, it was one of those things. Where're like, I love what I'm doing, but it's so hard. And I shouldn't feel like it's hard, you know, that kind of, why
(44:55):
Not <laugh>
(44:57):
Well,
(44:57):
If, if it's hard, it's hard.
(45:00):
But I think that goes to society telling you, yeah, this should be fun. It should be easy. You should be this whatever mom. And I felt like I was always following short and, you know, Uhhuh using, using food for a lot. <Laugh> a lot of the, the overwhelm that came with that. And so this time I've been very good at telling my husband, Hey, I'm gonna go down to the church for our activity. So tomorrow we have an activity down at our church and they're teaching us how to make tacos. And it's from a lady that we go to church with and she's an amazing taco person. You know, her family is from Mexico and just very authentic and I'm like, I want to go learn how to do that.
(45:50):
So yeah. <Laugh>
(45:52):
And in the past I would've brought baby with me and this time I'm like, she's gonna be okay for an hour and a half while I'm done, you know, I'll nurse her ahead of time and there's a bottle and he's a great dad and he is very attentive and he wraps her on him and you know, it, it's not an issue, but it was something that I was holding onto before. So I think I'm doing better. <Laugh>
(46:17):
At, and it is so important for girls to have such a good relationship with dad. And this is where it begins.
(46:25):
Yes. Yeah. You're, you're absolutely right. And I have all girls. I don't, I don't get a mama's boy, but that's okay. <Laugh>
(46:41):
<Laugh>
(46:43):
All right. Well, let's like I said, let's wrap this up. I feel like this could be such a good beneficial conversation and topic for so many of us and there's probably a million more avenues that we could go. But for the listeners who are really connecting and jiving with your message, Renee, where can they find you and start to work with you or learn more about the services that you have to offer?
(47:10):
My website is pack your own bag.com and I'm on Facebook at both pack your own bag. And I have a group called the healthy, confident life.
(47:22):
Amazing. And you're also on Instagram, is that correct? Facebook and Instagram. Okay. Yeah. And we will link up all of your social media in the show notes for everybody. And it says you have a freebie pack, your own bags, dot com slash friends. Do you know what that is? Do you wanna tell us about
(47:41):
That? Yes, I do. It's pack your own bag.com/friends. And it is a goal setting exercise in a way that helps you maintain the goal. Mm. So it's a video and you don't even have to give me your email address to get it, just go, enjoy it and make use of it.
(48:01):
Oh, that's wonderful. Well, thank you so much. And I have enjoyed this conversation. I think this is probably more therapy for me
(48:09):
<Laugh>
(48:11):
Today, but hopefully the listeners got some really good nuggets from this and we're able to learn. So we'll see you guys on the next
(48:23):
Way you subscribe. If you found value in today's episode, leave us review and share on Instagram and please tag us. We love your pretty please.
